Day 6
Well, this is about the half way point. Today was striking. This is the first time I’ve really been to the poor. Pastor Solomon’s place is poor by our standards, but he is not the poorest around. Pastor Chomba and his neighborhood takes that distinction. The filth and the dirt and the dust are choking. There are smells I could not tolerate. Solomon’s kids eat decently while the orphanage and the people with chomba are literally dirt poor.
What is charity and what is justice? I want to help…. But what does that mean? Could I ever understand this? I feel so helpless. I feel so lost yet driven. But I do not know what action to take. I can use my own wealth, but am I called to be amongst them? If so why? What would I do that others who already have the respect and knowledge have? And if not, what can I still do or is it an excuse. Is money just a way to satiate my guilt? American burden? These are fellow human beings but I am not sure what I am supposed to do… After we donated the goods, which was good, we went out to eat and probably spent the same amount on one meal!
Day 10 (Wednesday)
The man in the blue shirt
Today, we were at a tourist stop. Pastor Solomon and Chomba were talking with some people sharing the gospel. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man in a blue shirt. He looked miserable. He was alone sitting at a picnic table, drinking a 330 mL can of coke. Again, he looked lonely and miserable.
I looked and I got one of those feelings of a divine appointment. They’re the kind that Evan got on the Japan 2007 trip with the hotel clerk that most Christians fantasize about. Where God prompts you to talk to a total stranger and you share the gospel and you save a soul. Yeah, that feeling. I looked at him and he glanced at me, surveying what was going on. I wondered if I saw a longing in his eyes that someone…. Anyone would go talk to him.
I asked God for a sign. Perhaps a lightning bolt or a shooting star in the middle of the day. Maybe the man in the blue shirt could wave or would just touch his coke can. He didn’t do any of those things. But still that feeling was there. But there was no sign. No visible thing. So I did nothing.
He watched us walk away. We were in a hurry after all. But as I got into the car, I started to think. What would I need a sign? Does not God call us to share the gospel to all? Why would I need a divine appointment? Is not everyday a divine appointment? Someone else will do it, God doesn’t want me to share his love. Is that what we think? What the hell? The sign from God was already given, the cross! What more sign do we need?
Our fears control us, we romanticize it with these desires for signs. A wicked generation asks for a sign! But the only sign will be the sign of Jonah. And that sign already came.
What is the gospel to a people who are living in the slums? And not the American slums, but the world slums…
These conditions would have been normal perhaps in the 14th century, but humanity pulled away in the west…. But some were left behind.
The only modern conveniences there are are television, radio and cell phones and those are fairly expensive. Toys are bottles with wheels on them. The houses are made of mud and rocks, like you learn about the Navajo Indians from the history books. Their clothes are the second hand ones that we throw away. The logos, the characters, the brands are cast aside by us, second class clothes that we deem unwearable for some reason. So they take our trash. There is no waste disposal so trash is everywhere. There is the smell of feces and garbage and filth everywhere. Some are lucky to own a car. Wherever we drive, people stare at us, a group of eight Asians and a half Mexican/half white from America driving two vans that probablyt have more luxary and features than any of their homes would ever have. Snacks and water are all over. We probably have more food in this van than some have in a couple weeks.
We extol their virtues and their strength and mourn our own failings…. But I wonder if by playing victim and feeling sorry for ourselves we block out the feelings we have for them…. So we work on ourselves in our gyms and make ourselves healthier and not worry about the rest. When did we leave the world behind?
In America we talk about God saving us from our sins and don’t get me wrong, I believe that. And we want to bring that message to others and surely we must. But it seems like sin is the last thing they would need to worry about. I’m not one usually for eschatology, but to my modern, western eyes, it is the second coming and the wealth of the kingdom of God that may be the best hope. In America we preach that tomorrow is a new day and God can change our lives now and again, that certainly is true. But that message would mean nothing if you are just trying to survive the next day. Perhaps it is not our responsibility and yet it might be. If we are to love our neighbor, how do we respond when the world becomes smaller and the world is our neighbor. The human condition of greed and self are evident as we come back to the city with its buildings and cars and signs. Some have made it better and the rich will get richer and the poor will stay the same. We are sometimes told not to feel guilty, yet it is almost impossible not to. We make our distance and slam our doors. We say we need to save sinners, but perhaps we are the biggest sinners of all. For we do not care for our neighbors and God’s people and we live in our ivory towers and eat our lavish meals.
We say we should be more appreciative but that doesn’t help. Be thankful, but then forget the rest? Bless God and bless yourself, but never bless the other…
What do you say to them? What do you do? How do you change? What is God calling us to do?
